But will she wear Carharrts on a date?

Friends, Alaskans, CabinDwelling folk, another television show set in "Alaska" is upon us.

Truly. And it stars Ann Heche.

And the name?

"Men in Trees."

I'm not making this up. The show, starring Ms. Heche and some guy named John Amos, was described by Heather Havrilesky as:

"Sex in... a very small town in Alaska!" ... "Northern Exposure" meets "Sex and the City" ... "Charming, quirky, sweet little storylines by SATC writer Jenny Bicks."

The premise? "A relationship advice expert's life and livelihood fall apart when she discovers her fiancé is cheating, so she decides to move to Alaska."

Zut alors! I mean, where do we even start on this one?

As a veteran (much decorated and many times wounded) of the small-town Alaska dating scene, and well, now a weensy bit cynical, I remain curious as to how far from reality this show might veer. I mean will Ms. Heche's character:

1) be propositioned while wearing hip waders?
2) be asked on a first date that involves not much other than an offer of a six-pack and 'going for a drive?
3) find herself at the Board of Trade at bar break when everyone present, knowing everyone else present, tries to figure out who to go home with that they haven't already dated or been married to, or are related to, or is married to someone they know (and like?)
4) find herself dating her roommate's girlfriend's mother's ex-boyfriend?
5) have a winter as a mushing groupie? ya know, hook up with a musher and end up feeding dogs and scooping poop?

Will she find herself repeating the saying, "You don't lose your girl/boyfriend, you just lose your turn?"

There's a reason the term 'subsistence dating' exists.*

Let us just hope it is not as annoying as The Show I Will Not Name**, you know, the one that led to all Lower 48ers, upon meeting you, to ask:

"Alaska. Is it like Northern Exposure The Show I Will Not Name?"

*Hey, rural Alakans are honest, practical people, you can't fault them for calling something what it really is. Edited to be less vulgar than the actual term.
**While the show had a couple of good seasons before shark-jumping occurred, let's face it, it trafficked heavily in what I refer to as the "oh-isn't-Alaska-quirky-and-weird-and-cute?" nonsense. Writers, both Alaskan and Outsiders, still churn out that kind of pap. But ya know what? Alaska, as much as I love it, has a great deal of alcohol-related dysfunction, poverty, violence and tragedy. The Show I Will Not Name felt like a great, big patronizing pat on the head. And let's not even get into its treatment of Alaska Native culture.