Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Behold - the Germstar

On a recent (forced) trip to the lower 48, I had my first encounter with the Germstar, pictured at right.

It appeared one day in the lobby of my hotel. Apparently, the Purell hand sanitizers that were on every counter and table in the lobby were simply not enough. After all, we are in the middle of a pan(ic)demic.

There it was: jellyfish-esque, menacing. Also incontinent. A steady drip of sanitizer emitted from its bottom. Hotel staff addressed this problem by placing a soft towel, frequently changed, beneath the 'star.

As I waited for the elevator, I mused on its name. Clearly a Star Wars reference... to entice the mind ful less consumer to view hand sanitizer as the Force in this battle against evil germs. But wait.

The Death Star dispensed death. So, uh, wouldn't a Germstar dispense germs??

Oops. Someone in marketing was asleep behind the wheel on that one.

I did not then, nor do I ever during the duration of my stay, use the Germstar. This nets me disapproving frowns (Typhoid Mary!) from my fellow elevator users, who do most liberally use the Germstar, especially after I have punched the button with my germ-encrusted finger.

Really, can there be anything else that will ever demonstrate more thoroughly just what a nation of sheeple this country has become than the H1N1 pan(ic)demic?

On the same trip, I caught a news clip of a CDC spokesperson breathlessly holding a news conference about the 86 children who have so far died of H1N1.

Not to diminish the individual loss of these children, but 86? Out of - what- 250 million people? Don't tell me that the spokesperson doctor didn't know that she was spouting hyper BS. Any high school student with a smattering of math and a basic understanding of percentages can stand up and say that 86 out of 250 million isn't just meaningless, it ain't even in the universe of statistically significant.

We sure don't hear about the 1000s of kids that die annually (flu season or not) of suicide, abuse and neglect. It's easier to fear a microbe than it is to face our collective, civic responsibility for the good of the vunerable in our society.

Just put up a Germstar.


Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Of course they have to use it! They have not built up their immune systems properly!

Sheesh, what a bunch of paranoid idjets. Did they really glare at you for not using it? ROFL Do they not know that just by being in the same elevator they're exposed to all sorts of creep-crawlys? Like, say, BRAINS and the ability to THINK!

I too have also noticed that swine flu panicdemic (you've just coined a new term, congrats & good on ya) hasn't killed nearly as many people as the regular flu. And of course is way behind preventable deaths too, also.

Germstar... *snicker*

FlictheBic said...

Are there jobs down there for an expat? I am seriously thinking that I may not be able to live out the rest of my days in this country. So far I have tried to mitigate it by spending a lot of time in the villages - but even the long arm of satellite TV reaches there - 24/7. This last trip to "America" made me realize I am only going to travel there, if I can help it, to go elsewhere - like Mexico, Canada or any other country but this one.

Deirdre Helfferich said...

These sanitizer things are stupid. Especially the ones that go on about their antibiotic content (aside from the alcohol content): building up supergerms, that's what the Germstar is doing! Then we'll REALLY see a pandemic, especially because of all those people who don't trust their own immune systems....

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

FlictheBic: The job situation is pretty tight down here. I'd recommend Canada if you want to stay cold, or rural Mexico otherwise. Oh, your money will go a long way in Fiji too! And the official language is English.

I totally agree, I don't think I could live Stateside (or even Alaska) with all the dingbat crazyness going on.

The health care system is very very nice down here. :)