Friday, November 17, 2006

No Bunny Boots Required

Further Evidence We Are Sissifying Up Here

Not much time for a post today, my Interior friends, because I'm up to my eyeballs in alligators* here at work, as the saying goes, and we're throwing a party tomorrow night that will require a serious amount of cleaning and reorganization beforehand.

So we can really trash the place. You know?

I was watching some teevee last night and stayed up late enough to watch the local weather forecast. This being Podunkville, with (your newspaper) and teevee stations you expect poor production values and annoying 20-something year-old sports reporters with these jarringly affected 'sports news' delivery styles and those funny short haircuts with every hair coated individually with 'sculpting' product. But you expect that the weather is a gimme, how possibly could they make weather annoying?

Well for one thing, two different stations can promise that COLD winter is coming before a commercial break and then come back and tell you that it might get down to minus twenty the next few days.

To which I ask, where are they getting these people? And for the ones who have been here a while, what the Hell? Minus 20 is perfectably expectable for this time of year. If the Weather God/desses would just give us some snow, all would be well out in Cabindwelling Land. One can ski at negative twenty, one can grill (with a little effort, granted), one can drink beer outside by the fire.

(The latter being what I'm planning on tomorrow night.)

*Phrase courtesy of Lana Creer Harris, Jack Mormon storyteller extraordinaire.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

And why isn't someone following Don Young around with a camera?

Some changes afoot here at the blog - and I must say that only Uncle Ted shows up on YouTube. Nothing for Lisa Murkowski or Don Young. But really, if you wanted awesome footage of one of our pols saying stupid stuff or behaving boorishly, Mr. Young is your man. Why isn't someone following him around recording everything he says??

Then again, that might be something Dubyah actually considers 'torture.'

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Yeah, It's Another Outhouse Post

I'm still in a post-election euphoria here, but my cabin-dwelling backside has compelled me to a more practical, down-to-earth consideration: the state of my new outhouse.

As is the fashion in my neck of the Goldstream Valley, I've already strung Christmas tree lights in the black spruce so that visitors can find it in the dark.

It was shocking amusing how grossed out some of my Lower 48 friends were by the poopsicle post. Grossed out, as in, they actually remembered some of the things myself and others wrote about frozen poop. But where one takes cares of business, and in what degree of comfort, is as important as the whole eating thing, really. You eat every day and correspondingly, you visit the loo every day as well. Cycle of life, the human machine at work, blah blah blah.*

But digressing, again.

So, the new outhouse, while as fine an example of carpentry as the new cabin and not yet plagued by the dread poopsicle, has no blue foam. It's just wood. What was the previous tenant thinking?? As the temperatures have begun to dip down,** soon, I'm gonna freeze my ass off. So I'm headed to Home Despot today.

And all of this is old hat, scarcely worthy of mention in the water-challenged circles in which I socialize. But I happened to be reading The New York Times this morning and came across an article on interior decorating that is such a world away from my blue foam concerns that I felt compelled to share it with y'all.

It seems that there are people in the world that have weightier concerns at their residences than mine. Indeed, Joan Rivers and a number of very posh folk have to worry about decorating disasters:

There is a giddy intoxication that can overtake the traveler, and that is a good thing — nature’s way of inuring one to $350-a-night hotel prices. The savvy decorator, however, must always be vigilant; remembering that however delightful those scrap-metal Haitian sculptures look in Port-au-Prince, it may be quite another thing when you get them back to your apartment.

Such was the case with Jeffrey Podolsky, a New York journalist. Visiting Buenos Aires, he found himself in a leather-goods neighborhood, where he fell hard for a $1,000 black and white pony rug. It would have gone very well in a monochromatic living room, Mr. Podolsky said, but the apartment he shares with Milly de Cabrol, an interior designer, is more exotic, with oranges and deep pinks and touches of green and red. He did not realize the magnitude of his error until Ms. de Cabrol, seeing the rug, screamed.
Let's just say that the decorating issues at the CabinDwelling Compound differ. With a wood, wood, and wood motif, coupled with some Very Ugly Carpet***, and an eclectic mixture of couches and action packers, we are so far beyond "good taste" that nothing we can do is really a disaster at this point.

*I am reminded of a certain pair of businesses in Nome owned by the same couple: Fat Freddie's Restaurant and Suck N Shine. Fat Freddies restaurant serves a variety of tasty, cholesterol-bomb foods and Suck N Shine traffics in sewage. As the t-shirt they commissioned boasts, "Serving both ends of Nome's alimentary canal." I am not making this up.
**I can't say it's cold because Good God people, it's only getting down to -15 at night.
***Whitish, and formerly the primary habitat of a scruffy terrier mix named Murray. Murray and his owner have moved on, but Murray's hair keeps turning up no matter how many times we vacuum.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Night: Am I Having a Good Dream for Once

Okay, so I'm some kind of crackhead who couldn't make the CNN free Pipeline thing work. It's no big, because I'm at a location with cable television tonight. I've been driving everyone crazy jumping back and forth between CNN and local coverage.

And, how bout that? Hot damn! Looks like Seekins is out. And Kawasaki is in, finally, it looks like. Sadly, it looks like Knowles won't pull this one off, but I kind of expected Halcro to be the spoiler in that one anyway.

It is a shame that Benson doesn't look to be defeating Young, but she had a fine showing. And oh yeah, Don? You demonstrated how in tune you are with that prediction that the Dems wouldn't pick up any seats. Remarkably accurate there, except for the fact that it is possible they took the House and Senate.

Holy crap! I thought they might pull the House, but didn't think they could take the Senate, too. Unfortunately, that 30-something year-old thing is forcing me to go get some sleep. But you know? I feel like my country is waking up from a long national nightmare. Let's hope the Dems will accomplish something and govern more effectively* than the Republicans have for the last few years with their majority.

As the sort-of candidate from Texas, Kinky Friedman said:

"How hard can it be?"

*Where to start? That could be the subject of a post unto itself.

Election Night Musings: Early On

Can I just say how much I enjoy the fact that my voting location is at the local bar?

So, what's up with CNN's "free" election pipeline thing? I've clicked on it and no matter what, you have to pay. (Okay, there is a $.99 day pass, but generally, day passes to paid material are FREE. And when someone advertises something as 'free' that's what I expect.)

So, looks like I'm going to be glued to the television tonight watching the returns. I've been saying all day to my coworkers (poor captive audience that they are) that I think the media has overstated the Dems chances of gaining seats. It's not surprising, the networks need some kind of angle to hang their stories on - but I'll never put my faith in an exit poll again.

Of course, we can still celebrate that Frank the Bank is gone. Yee-haw!

Sadly, as I was talking to a friend last night about Diane Benson, he said he'd never heard of her till last night. Is that a reflection on him or on the amount of airtime she was able to buy? I hope she gives Young a run for his money, at least.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Soob Rocking Playlist: the Halloween Edition

As an compulsive, and perhaps obsessive, mix-CD maker, I offer the most recent compilation rocking my clunky old Soob.* I confess that I added Beck reluctantly, because I kind of lost respect for the man when I found out that he is a Scientologist. Why should it matter what cult religion a person belongs to, really, for the purposes of mix making?**

Halloween Mix:
  1. Remember - by The Figurines
  2. Enough to Get Away - by Joseph Arthur
  3. The Staunton Lick - by Lemon Jelly
  4. Rules of the Game - by Brazilian Girls
  5. Ungodly Fruit - by Wax Tailor
  6. Whoo... Alright, Yeah... Uh-Huh - by The Rapture
  7. Parade of Punk Rock T-Shirts - by Maritime
  8. Dream at Tempo - by Silversun Pickups
  9. Money Folder - by Madvillain
  10. Jaadu (Nickodemus and Osiris Remix) - by Ustad Sultan Khan
  11. Front 2 Back - by Playgroup
  12. Driving Through the Redlights - by Monster Movie
  13. Insistor - by Tapes 'n Tapes
  14. Figaro - by Madvillain
  15. String of Blinking Light - by Paper Moon
  16. Moonbathing - by Sky Cries Mary
  17. Benton Harbor Blues - by The Fiery Furnaces
  18. Halo of Gold - by Beck
  19. Dunes Dub - by Strategy
*You know the one that y'all in the big honking pickup trucks tailgate as I putter up Ballaine Hill? Yeah, that one. I apologize for making you slow down on icy roads and all, but I didn't have snow tires on for the last few weeks. Of course, slowing down is such an inconvenience - pickup trucks never go off the road or anything as they are not subject to the laws of physics.
**I don't know the answer to that one. I haven't added U2 to any mix in years, for that matter, on the grounds that Bono has gotten entirely annoying.
-- Powerpuff Girls image at

Is Squarebanks Sissifying? A Politics-Free Post

Oof. Being in your 30s sucks for several reasons, including the fact that staying up until 6 a.m. quaffing whatever is left in the house (and playing darts) just plain knocks a 30's-something person out for a few.

So, here I sit at work, not blogging about the election, though I'd like to do so. This is going to be a three cups of coffee kind of day.

But in regards to our purportedly Worst Place on Earth to Live*, Squarebanks, what the hell is going on with people idling their cars right now? I broke my rule of never shopping on a Sunday afternoon yesterday and there were at least a dozen cars left running while people shopped.

At 40 below, that is acceptable behavior. At current temps, it is wasteful, polluting, and completely unnecessary. What gives? Are we sissifying up here and unable to jump into a car that's not preheated? Or is this some kind of herd thing where people all follow suit after one bozo does something?

*According to The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America. Of Fairbanks, Gilmartin writes, "Take the most horrible place you’ve ever been, then subtract the sun." I'm pretty sure some other Alaskan has blogged about this already, but for the life of me, and because of the whole 30-something year brain damage thing, I can't remember who. Apologies.
** Snowmiser courtesy of

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Post-Debate Rant: Shocked by Palin

As much as I'd like to witness the first woman* elected governor of Alaska, there is no way in hell I'm voting for Palin.

Oh, anybody would expect a lefty like me to lean Democratic, but frankly**, I can't believe Palin's response to the question about abortion during the debate the other night. Or rather, her non-response.

When asked if she would sign into law legislation that would further restrict access to abortion, she said yes. As for exceptions when abortion would be legal, she said that an exception would be when the pregnancy threatened the life of the mother. When asked if an exception would be made for women who are victims of rape she would only reply, "I'd choose life."

Which is such a horrifying non-answer, I can't even wrap my brain around it. I only wish that a followup question would have asked about an exception being made for victims of incest.

Look, having perused the Palin website, it's pretty clear that she is one of the extreme rightwingers that the Mat-Su Valley tends to send to the Lege. Her approach to the subsistence issue is to duck and toss out the term 'personal use.' But more on that later. I'm moved into my palatially-sized new cabin now and will be able to rant as frequently as I'd like.

*Why couldn't it be Fran Ulmer? Why?
** Oh, heh, I just enjoying using the word "Frank" in celebration of the end of his term.