Thursday, December 06, 2007

Anchorage, Anchored Down in Anchorage

Does anybody else remember that Michelle Shocked song? One of my favorite ones by her, following closely behind Come Along Way and Prodigal Daughter.

So I'm coming to you live from the belly of the beast, from the epicenter of suburban sprawl Alaska, from the town that sports a Range Rover dealership but doesn't have a single road as bad as the one running in front of my cabin. Some of the people driving those Range Rovers here in the wilds of Anchortown are clad in Patagucci outdoorwear the value of which exceeds that of my Soob, fishing gear, CD collection, books, guns (including the really nice Winchester Model 70 I borrowed) and the PC. Combined.

I speak, of course, of Anchorage. I'm here and so far have not burst into flame or had a seizure or suffered any other ill effects other than I've spent a lot of time trying to find a place to park downtown. I'm sitting here at the Glacier Brewhouse, one of the mitigating places here - you can buy 1 gallon growlers of really good beer here, unlike our brewery up north - and apparently, GBH has wifi like every other place down here in Los Anchorage. And the food at lunch is quite reasonable and really, really good.

I'm having a pint of the Blonde Ale. So cheers, my peoples, and here's to the occasional comforts of Big Bad Anchorage.

Oh, and I haven't seen any machete-wielding maniacs yet or heard anyone shooting at anyone else yet.


Coldfoot said...

Oh, and I haven't seen any machete-wielding maniacs yet or heard anyone shooting at anyone else yet.,

Check your map. You probably aren't in Anchorage.

Ishmael said...

I know I may be in the minority of your readers (or post-Anchorage Alaskans), but I like Anchorage. A little too spread out. I like a little congestion. But then you need mass transit. And the People Movers in Anchorage suck. So you have a lot of people standing around in the cold. I remember as a kid when they first put up heated bus stop enclosures... my dad stopped the car to let me and my little brother climb out and stand in them.

Did you see the item where Men's Health or Outdoor Life or somebody has named Anchorage the second most drunken town (that they surveyed) in the nation? Right behind Denver.

And what's this about not being able to buy growlers of beer at your Fairbanks brewery???? And you call that place civilized.

Of course, there are no packs of wolves roving around eating you in Anchorage either....

CabinDweller said...

I like, true, proper, city congestion, like Brooklyn or San Fran or Philly.

Well, I am sure the Men's Health or Outdoor Life people probably didn't survey Nome. Anchorage doesn't hold a candle to Nome on the drunkenness front, although Darwin's Theory makes a good run for it.

Yeah, no growlers. I've lobbied, I've tried logic, but alas, to no avail.

Hmmm. Which would you rather face? A pack of hungry wolves or a machete-wielding maniac? Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

When I first moved to Alaska, I was/am poor and I love a good garage sale and I also loved Letterman. So the future wife and I had watched Letterman one night and heard Shocked sing "Anchored down in Anchorage." Then the next day we were out cruising the garage sales and at his this one sale we hear this woman talking about her friend was on Letterman last night! I twas the anchored woman.
That was the welcome to Alaska! That is why I love it here. Back when the Governor would do talk of Alaska and we were all connected. Beautiful.