Friday, April 17, 2009

(Not) Winning the Battle, Losing the W.A.R.

Beyond the obvious problems with the Wayne Anthony Ross nomination, covered virtually everywhere on the System of Tubes, all I can come up with this morning over cup of coffee number two is:

"What the Hell were they thinking?"

Is someone (and her probable boatload of consultants) so foolish as to pick such a no-go candidate for Attorney General just because he is a raging right wing nutjob? Was his anti-abortion stance enough to get the nod? Surely, they could have found another Republican, a qualified one even, to put up for AG. And since the last guy was something of a bust, maybe even look at his credentials and experience? And maybe, you know, vet him a little bit first?

Is the sum total of what La Palinista will offer in 2012 a strong anti-abortion record? Because the view from up here in wilderburbia is that she doesn't seem much interested in the boring job of being governor of Alaska. Nope, too many political events Outside to hit, so little time...

What we need are special updates on the evening news like the ones we get when Santa is traveling on Christmas Eve. "Do you know where Sarah is right now?" "Well, our special tracker has her somewhere over Indiana tonight, Bob."

It'd be helpful.

I've found one positive thing to say about La Palinista's odd, stumbling campaign for some national office in the future. [cough.]

It has driven the stake through the heart of the mythical West on Ice. Obviously, the Euro-Americans among us are not a bunch of pioneers on the homestead, churning our own butter and hitching up the mule to the plow to tame the Last Frontier. (Well, okay. Flic does keep bees. And there are a lot of guys with beards. And we chop a lot of wood. And a few people keep llamas.)

Nonetheless, this is not Little House on the Tundra no matter how many of us can sing "North to Alaska" from memory. Sing with me! "Way up North. Way up north..."

We are as Jerry Springer as the rest of the Lower 48. Our governor hails from the strip mall capital of Alaska. (The Mat Su Borough also being famous for some of the best pot grown in the United States.) And now that everyone is paying attention, the gold camp tourist version is getting harder to peddle, no matter how hard the desperate Lower 48 Republicans want to believe it. And we have La Palinista and her publicity craving immediate and extended family to thank for that.


Ishmael said...

Needless to say, I grew up on Johnny Horton's classic, but it wasn't until last week that I found out it was written as the theme song to the John Wayne film of the same name. Weird.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Hey, I got Johnny Horton on cd!

BTW, shouldn't the title of the post be "WHINNING the battle, and losing the WAR."? HAHA, me so funny.

Hmmmmm... Matanuska ThunderF*ck... good shit duuuude... Ahhhhhhh. Hey, where'd that 3rd pizza go man?

CabinDweller said...

I like Johnny Horton's version, but I'm more fond of Ted Hawkins'.

Actually, Alaska Dave, your title is better than mine. Why weren't you around when I was trying to come up with a decent one?