Tuesday, July 29, 2008

FBI Boats Barn Door Size Fish: Uncle Ted

I was sleeping in, on a day off, when Flic called from her vacation in Nome. "Did you hear?"

This morning, presumed Senator for Life Ted Stevens was indicted on seven charges of falsifying income. The charges relate to renovations of his house completed and gifts received, detailed so well in the ADN. Cough. VECO. Again.

Who really thought, back when the FBI first kicked open the door on the sad, Big Oil co-opted mess of Alaskan politics, that they might actually get to any of Big Three? Sure, a state representative here, maybe a lobbyist there -- but so long had Senator Ted Stevens, (former) Sen. Frank Murkowski and Rep. Don Young been in charge, not only could no one else really recall anyone else doing the job, we cynical, "Red State" progressives could not imagine that they might actually be vulnerable to anything other than, say, their own mortality.

That's why we call him Senator For Life Ted Stevens.

And it is funny, not in a "ha ha" way, but in a peculiar way, that what might be his undoing is not any of the big stuff like the Abramoff scandal or some of the dodgier fisheries stuff, no, it comes back to Bill Allen and what was the oil industry giant, VECO, our in-state mess.

And that all started in a room at the Baranof Hotel with some of our legislators selling themselves on the cheap, swilling booze and using language more commonly associated with a construction site, all recorded on tape. The FBI has built this case very carefully, starting with the little fish and slowly moving up the food chain. (Edited on 7-29 to remove insane mixed metaphor.)

Time to update Flic's list, which I must confess, forgot to include State Sen. John Cowdery. In our defense, there were so many, who can keep track?

Santa's The FBI's Little List --- (First posted in December 2007 - Updated 7-29-08)
Tom Anderson : Naughty Convicted Gray Bar Hotel
Bill Allen: Very, Very, Very Naughty Plead Guilty
Rick Smith: Naughty Plead Guilty
Pete Kott: Naughty and Easy Convicted Gray Bar Hotel
Bruce Weyhrauch: Naughty Indicted
John Cowdery: Naughty Indicted
Vic Kohring: Naughty Indicted Convicted Gray Bar Hotel
Ben Stevens: Very Naughty In the Bag
Ted Stevens: Very, Very Naughty and Haughty In the Bag Under Investigation and Getting Grumpier by the Minute INDICTED
Don Young: Naughty and Rude In the Bag Under Investigation and Spending $ Like Crazy
Frank Murkowski: Naughty and Slow Give 'im rope
Jim Clark: Very, Very, Very Naughty There's always hope Plead Guilty

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