Sunday, January 07, 2007

FlictheBic's 2006 Awards

"Let Them Eat Cake" award to former (thank god!) Governor Frank Murkowski for the blatant manner in which he used state funds to further his own personal interests and pleasure. Chief among these is his $114,000 junket to Asia in his final days as governor, and his use of the state jet* after he left office, to travel, with his family, first to Utah and then to NYC - where he and Nancy embarked on their around-the-world cruise (wonder how all the Alaskan seniors struggling to manage without their Longevity Bonuses feel about that???).

The "Throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater" award goes hands down to Rep. Jack Coghill, of North Pole (nothing merry about that feller!) who in a fit of self-righteous, religious rage declared that he would fight to take away health benefits for all state employees, rather than let same-sex partners receive health benefits as recently ordered by the Alaska Supreme Court. Now there is a re-election strategy if ever I saw one.

To Rep. Mike Kelly, another slavering Fundy with his shorts in a twist over public employees with same sex partners getting health insurance, goes the "John Ashcroft" award in recognition of the utter narrowness of his mind and of his overblown arrogance in attempting to force his morals on everyone else regardless of what the law or the Constitution says. Next thing you know, Rep. Kelly will be singing silly songs and covering up Lady Liberty’s boobs!

The "Ralph A. Seekins" award, memorializing his failed Senate bill to open the five-mile Dalton corridor to ORVs goes to the two yahoos who attempted to drive across five miles of North Slope tundra and ended up with trucks (one of which I believe was a Ford) mired to their axels. As of this date, attempts to remove the trucks have been unsuccessful, opening up the possibility that this award may become a permanent monument to now ex-Senator Seekins.

To all the residents of the City of Fairbanks who voted down the property tax, thus leaving the city without sufficient revenue to operate - goes the "Alfred E. Numan - What Me Worry?" award.

The "Spineless Jellyfish" award goes to Gov. Palin for her weenie dénouement when enforcing the state constitution that she would put the question of same-sex health benefits to the people of Alaska through a constitutional referendum.

To Jim Clarke goes the "Give it Up" award for his overblown and ridiculous statement that Murkowski will “go down in history as the best governor [Alaska] ever had.” (

And finally, again to former Governor Murkowski goes the "Don’t Let the Door Hit You On Your Ass" award for his resounding defeat, one of the worse for an incumbent, in his relection bid.

*the purchase of which, although not in this year, deservedly gets the "Smoke and Mirrors" award for Murk’s pathetic attempt to justify its purchase as 1) needed to transport prisoners out of Alaska and 2) for rural visits – even though there are virtually no Alaska villages with a gravel strip – let alone runway – long enough to land a jet on.

1 comment:

CabinDweller said...

Yay! Flic, you're back!