Thursday, June 22, 2006

Gubernatorial Politicking, V. 1: Murkowski's Unintentionally Hilarious Ad

There are days, nay, entire blocks of years, where editorial cartoonists and those who make a living opining are blessed with such crappy* poor examples of governance that they scarcely have to work to come up with the good stuff. By which I might offer up the entirety of the Bush Presidency, the Reagan Years, and some of the more surreal times during the last tenure of Wally Hickel. Oh, and that time God told Scott Ogan how to solve the subsistence issue.

Wow, remember the subsistence "issue?"

Now, I make no living doing this. This is largely a therapeutic endeavor, whereby a simple broke-ass, cabin-dwelling leftie like myself can get all the ranting she might need to do out of her system without the aid of beer and such.

But today, pay or not, is one of those days I refer to as 'gravy.'**

Have you seen the Murkowski ad? The full-page ad that's been running everywhere? Seriously, this is such a poorly thought-out strategy, you'd of thought the Democratic National Committee came up with it. (Now there are some folks who know how to lose an election.)***

It is an actual ad paid for by the Committee to Re-elect Frank Murkowski. Just follow the link above to see it in its splendor, courtesy of the Washington Post blog. Or you could pick up the ADN, FDNM, or Juneau Empire.

Funny what a 58 percent disapproval rate will do to one's approach.

To quote directly from the first nine lines of copy, and please note that the red text was red in the ad:
"I agree. I admit it. I'm a long, long way from perfect. At one time or another, I've made the entire state of Alaska mad at me. Maybe I should consider a personality transplant. But in Alaska, sometimes it takes a strong will to make things happen."

Perhaps what he needs is a job transplant. Not that it should be all that hard to go from working for Big Oil from the governor's office to working for Big Oil from ... Big Oil's offices.

Strong will, my foot. Perhaps, though, the persons coming up with his ad copy confused being an arrogant jerk with 'strong will'. And to cut him some slack, I suppose it is an consequence of all that time in D.C. - he got used to jetting in from D.C. and jetting right back out after a perfunctory set of trapline visits around the state. You know, stop in at the local Rotary, get a grip-and-grin picture into the local paper, give one of those 'We're the greatest place, oh, beautiful, scenic, gorgeous, pristine Alaska. We need to pave it and mine every last inch of it. And drill the Arctic Refuge. Oh, look at the time, gotta jet."

Oh, and speaking of jets. Two words: King Air. Oh, wait, two more: Alaska Airlines. It's not like we've forgotten how you insisted that you needed a jet to travel around, on our dime.

It was not strong will to negotiate a secret deal with Big Oil that screws over Alaska, a deal so poor that The Murk lost most of the top people at the Department of Natural Resources over it. And the Stampede Road business where you skipped the meeting with the locals and sent your wife instead, (although she seems to be a nice woman.) Or how you've gone about trying to dismantle environmental protections to benefit large industrial-scale mining corporations who don't pay a dime in royalties.

I, for one, can't wait for the real election politicking to begin.

* It has come to my attention that I am using the words 'crap' and 'crappy' entirely too often. I will exercise restraint and get the thesaurus out.
** "Why," perhaps you ask? "Has your brand new propane stove arrived yet? Are you finally off that sorry two-burner hot plate?" No. Lowe's, one of those evil box stores that I really try not to shop at, has informed me that it is still somewhere between there and here. And I'll get it some day, they think.
*** I've heard that the reason Fran Ulmer lost had a lot to do with her allowing the DNC folks from Outside "help" her with her campaign...

1 comment:

Deirdre Helfferich said...

When I read this ad, I laughed out loud. Yep, I think "arrogant jerk" is a good descriptor, but he's about as weak-willed as I've ever seen when it comes to standing up to powerful, moneyed interests on behalf of the people of Alaska (the people of who? the what?).

But you shouldn't be too hard on him for buying a "private" jet with our cash. The way I hear it, flight attendants across the state cheered loudly and applauded when they heard about it: no more dealing with our wimpy, grumpy Miss-Princess-on-a-pea-in-the-air Murky Frankie.