Honestly- You Couldn't Make This Stuff Up!

Although election time in Alaska never fails to entertain – this year’s gubernatorial primaries are shaping up to be ones that will be hard to top in future years. Supporters of Frank “Mr. Personality” Murkowski, not content to let Frank run amok on his own with his ill-conceived ad campaign admitting to the need of a personality transplant, are adding blazo to his bonfire of the vanities with the following song*:

"We don’t like being threatened in Alaska.
And we don’t take our orders from D.C.
We don’t care about some PETA boycott.
And we might shoot some wolves from a DC-3.
We don’t fill our freezers at Fred Meyer.
It’s not how real Alaskans get their meat.
We like building roads, pumping oil.
And the state of this here state is flipping sweet.
And I’m proud to be supporting Frank Murkowski.
He’s a man that’s not afraid to take some licks.
He might not win awards for his charisma.
But Alaska’s gonna need Frank in 06.”

Sung to a twangy, down-homey beat, with lots of clapping and cheering, this song is being used in Frank’s TV campaign ads. Not surprisingly, the author of the song prefers to remain anonymous, but a group called “Friends of Frank”, based, I am proud to say, in Fairbanks, is taking overall credit for this creation.

I say – give Friends of Frank and the PR firm that Frank hired a big round of applause – they are doing a better job of making sure this buffoon doesn’t survive the primary than any other orchestrated effort to unseat the guy, and providing prized Mad Magazine moments for the rest of us.

* (c) Friends of Frank, 2006
Photo, (c) Alaska Railroad